6/21/08

Our New Website

Well sinners, although our website has been the pinnacle of good taste in both content and web design since 1994 (and still remained unchallenged), we decided to update the look of our site to once again demonstrate its aesthetic superiority over everything else on the interweb. For this process we programmed our own interactive media all on our own, which we like to call “Adobe Flush”… Rest assured that we did invent this ourselves, and if you see anyone else using “Adobe Flush”, they most certainly stole it from us and they will burn in hell for it.

Obviously we were very pleased at the prospect of spreading the good word of God’s Hatred through our new website. However, wouldn’t you know it, Westboro has tried to rain on our (anti-gay pride) parade. Right after our new site went live, they unveiled a redesign of their own site that looks practically identical to ours!

Westboro's Website

Of course, you all remember that back in 94’, Westboro tried this same dirty tactic and produced a website that was very similar to our old one. No matter though. Everyone knows who came out with the redesign first. They aren’t fooling anyone. And, of course, it’s just like Westboro to try to one-up us in the brazen and not-at-all-tacky cartoon gif image department: It appears that the WBC’s beloved mascot, “Slightly Ill Looking Boy Yelling While Holding Sign” has made the jump from their old website to their new one (much to their web designer’s pleasure we’re sure).

Westboro's Mascot: "Slightly Ill Looking Boy Yelling While Holding Sign"

In an attempt to compensate for our lack of shoddily drawn cartoons in our banner area, we created a special “Adobe Flush” navigation area for our site. However, we didn’t think that we could pull off having such flashy navigation without having cartoons in our banner to accompany it, so we decided not to use it. But! Being the good neighbors that we are, the EBC is offering to sell the above “Adobe Flush” navigation bar to the WBC, as we noticed that it would fit so nicely with their mascot. All we ask is a $100 check made out to the Eastboro Baptist Church … And for them to admit that they, in fact, love fags and also that, despite their adamant claims to the contrary, they did, in fact, cry during the scene in Titanic when Jack dies.

So Westboro: That is our offer and the terms are not negotiable. Will you accept?