To God's Elect: Leave Sweden NOW!!!
We here at the Eastboro Baptist Church have been preaching, quite sensibly, that Sweden is a land of bestiality, sodomy and incest for some time now to very little avail. It seems the filthy Swedes just don’t want to listen to a voice of level-headed reason in the orgy of chaos and sin that constitutes their daily lives. No matter. It is not us who will burn in Hell for all eternity.
Aside from his obvious bisexual agenda, and his blatant disregard for looking incredibly sexy in public, we now have a video of him dancing with midgets in Christmas hats! What kind of sick bastardization of a sacred Christian holiday is this? Everyone knows that midgets are God’s little mistakes, whose souls will burn in eternal hellfire! (Granted the Bible does not specifically state that, but it’s obvious that some parts of the Bible are open to (our) interpretation.)
So take a look at this video, Sweden, and know your abominable sin! It is unforgivable in the eyes of the Lord to dance with midgets in Christmas hats!
And after watching that, if you need further proof that Sweden is a God hating country, just look at their plans to be free from oil by 2020! God made oil for us to fuel our own demise, and it is not natural to attempt to avoid our fate by switching to renewable energies! Just look around, Sweden! Everyone else is perfectly fine with raping the Earth until it can no longer support our needs and then deciding what to do about renewable energy. Your conscience and preparedness makes us sick.
So you Swedes can take your “among the worlds highest life expectancy” and low infant mortality rates and shove them up your ass, because you know God would smite you all if he could find some way to do it that could be explained away as a natural phenomenon by modern science!
If you have something relevant to say (and cuss words are not relevant, you tolerant, loving, sodomite Swedes) contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org